It's Time To Talk: A Series of Discussions with People Who are Making A Difference Regarding Domestic Violence and Teen Dating Abuse: Discussion 1 of 7 - Dr. Jill Murray
My first discussion at the It's Time to Talk Day, sponsored by Liz Clairborne was with Dr. Jill Murray, LMFT, who is a Licensed Psychotherapist and author of a number of books about relationships and violence. Her most recent publication is entitled, " But He Never Hit Me: The Devastating Cost of Non-Physical Abuse to Girls and Women".
Dr. Murray made some great points in the course of our discussion and one specific phrase really seemed to me to be the key from her point of view:
- " Love is a Behavior" - Dr. Murray stressed over and over that we need to learn to love in much the same way that we need to learn other behaviors as we grow into adulthood. She states:
"Talk to your children about love as a behavior, rather than a feeling and encourage them to judge their friends and potential boy or girlfriends solely on the behavior they see.
As the mother of a 16 year old daughter who potentially can be a victim of teen dating violence and abuse, it was this concept that resonated the most with my own personal experiences. It allows me not to assume that healthy love is a given and that I am responsible for modeling and reinforcing the concept of "positive love" as it relates to my child's upbringing.
Listen to her on Oprah:
Dr. Jill Murray's website is chock full of resources and information in a variety of formats; I encourage you to utilize it and contact her if you have any questions.
I thank Dr. Jill Murray for taking the time to sit down and talk to me and applaud her work in such an important field.
“I received a $50 Juicy Couture gift card in conjunction with participating in Liz Claiborne’s “It’s Time To Talk” day.”